We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
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