ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
