FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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