nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize