I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
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Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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