ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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