my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
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