Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
