we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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