Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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