Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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