my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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