I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
