thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
