i need an iv and a liver transplant
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
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My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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