So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Holy sore nipples Batman
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is this like a preordered booty call?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
