Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
