Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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