God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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