I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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