sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
