We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
