there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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