I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
