no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We need to get me chipped asap
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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