So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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