dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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