Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
