I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
