Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
