Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
