If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
