I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
