If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
