saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
