The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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