yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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