there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
