dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
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the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize