How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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