You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
this just has baby written all over it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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