billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
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Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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