Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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