shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
