Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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