You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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