I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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