By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
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i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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