come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
