Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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