Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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