Who wears a wallet chain?!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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