Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize