i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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